There is no news today. Were there news today, many people would be drinking and dancing in the streets. There are not many people drinking and dancing in the streets. The people I know are not the type of people that wait for news to dance and drink in the street. The people I know are drunk by 11 am on Monday. The people I know steal half-wasted party balloons from the stop sign on the corner and take them to a dive bar to barter for Stoli. The people I know dance on the bus. The people I know accidentally piss in a one-night-stand’s closet. The people I know break their phones on street corners. The people I know hitch rides from the Domino’s Pizza car so they won’t have to pay for a cab. The people I know wouldn’t know that there was news today, even if there was news today. The people I know will hear about the news a few days later and then maybe eventually watch a clip of it on YouTube after no one else cares anymore. The people I know will already be drunk and maybe crying when they watch the news clip anyway so whatever emotion they feel won’t be about the news since there is no news to begin with. The people I know fuck each other in bathroom stalls before realizing they have lost their keys. The people I know never find their way home. If there was news today, it would be about the people I know.
Andrea Kneeland's first collection, the Birds & the Beasts is forthcoming from Cow Heavy Press later this year. Work has most recently appeared in Vinyl Poetry, Barrelhouse, mud luscious press, FRiGG and NANO Fiction. She's also a web editor for Hobart.
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