No news today - Guest Post - Paul Agostino

From the Barnyard to the Back Page

The news is: George Steinbrenner died.

The no news is: Revisionist historians are flooding the media with stories about how kind and "colorful" he was. And "determined," of course.

The facts are: Steinbrenner was a convicted felon.

The facts are: He was convicted of trying to illegally sway a federal election of the United States by making illegal campaign contributions to a U.S. president's re-election campaign and for obstructing justice.

The facts are: The president was Republican Richard Nixon.

The facts are: Steinbrenner was pardoned by another Republican president, Ronald Reagan, 15 years after his conviction.

The facts are: Steinbrenner never spent one minute in jail and never served parole.

The question is: How does a convicted felon stay out of jail for 15 years until he is pardoned and never even serve parole?

The answer is: Obvious.

The bullshit is: Steinbrenner was some kind of winner.

The opinion is: Steinbrenner was an asshole with a lot of money. He was a bully who often humiliated his employees, then threw money around to smooth things over and ease his conscience.

The opinion is: Hey, George: money can't buy everything.

The homily is: "Mussolini was a good man," my grandmother once said to me. And a lot of Italian peasants at the time would have agreed. He did a lot for the poor. But they're not holding a minute of silence for him anywhere I know. What if George Steinbrenner--or, for that matter, any of us--were given free reign over a small country? How many of us, including Steinbrenner, would set up democratic elections and insist on freedom of the press? The only difference between global tyrants, and petty, everyday tyrants is opportunity. And revisionist history belongs on the barnyard floor.

Paul Agostino is in the Whiffle Ball Hall of Fame in Holbrook, NY.

No news today - Guest Post - Sasha Fletcher

It is sunny. It is cold. It is cloudy. Last night the wind would not stop whistling out there in the dark. It howled. It screamed. It knocked down trees through power lines out by the bridge. Last night it rained like it’s been threatening to since May and I can’t even remember when May was anymore. We were sitting on the porch drinking. Sweat had dried to our bodies three times over. The sky seemed to split open with light and loud the rains came down. The river’s been acting up. This is the news with the weather. Hope you are well.

Sasha Fletcher's novella WHEN ALL OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED MARCHING BANDS WILL FILL THE STREETS AND WE WILL NOT HEAR THEM BECAUSE WE WILL BE UPSTAIRS IN THE CLOUDS is out now from ml press. He too lives in Brooklyn.

No news today - Guest Post - Molly Gaudry

There is no news today. However, there is a word. It is "yen" and can be used as a noun or verb. If used as a noun, yen has two meanings" first, it is "a desire or craving;" second, it is "an aluminum coin and monetary unit of Japan, equal to 100 sen or 1000 rin." If used as a verb, yen is "to have a craving," to "yearn." The nouns are interesting. So disconnected, yet so related. Here's a useful tidbit: "The use of yen to signify a desire, as opposed to Japanese currency, is an Americanism that probably derives from Chinese dialect, yáhn or yin, 'craving.'" Thank you, Dictionary.com. I think we've all learned something today.

Molly Gaudry is the author of the verse novel We Take Me Apart (Mud Luscious, 2009) and the editor of Tell: An Anthology of Expository Narrative (Flatmancrooked, 2010). She is Googleable.

No news today

There is no news today. However, in today's Huffington Post there is this .... which lists Kamby as one of their top 15 indie books, currently #2 in the voting.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/07/independent-books-huffing_n_636977.html

No news today - Guest Post - Paul Agostino

Weekend Edition: It is often difficult, while traveling, to find something beyond a local newspaper, so you have to settle for USA Today, with its bubble-brained headlines and idiotic bar graphs, if you want something with a bit more scope. My friend picked up a USA Today on a Saturday somewhere on the border of South Carolina and Georgia, glanced at it, and said, "Hey--this is yesterday's paper." I told him that USA today puts out a "weekend edition" on Friday that covers Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. He looked over the front page of the paper, then said, "What's the matter--nothing happens in Sandra Bullock's life on the weekends?"

Paul Agostino is a writer living in New York. r living in New York.

No news today

There is no news today other than this - I tried to post earlier - a guest post - and it didn't work. I'm not sure why. I tried several times. So this post amounts to a test.

No news today - Guest Post - Samuel Ligon

There are reports of startling news from the recent or distant past. Something about oil or a flood somewhere. Something about a military leader being dismissed or named emperor. Something biblical, maybe, involving slaughter and men lying with beasts. Nothing has been confirmed by reliable sources. It's all very unclear, people, and shaded by gossip, rumor, innuendo. Therefore, and as always, there is no news today.

SAMUEL LIGON is the author of DRIFT AND SWERVE, a collection of stories (2009), and SAFE IN HEAVEN DEAD, a novel (2003). His stories have appeared in The Quarterly, Alaska Quarterly Review, StoryQuarterly, New England Review, Noise: Fiction Inspired by Sonic Youth, Post Road, Keyhole, Sleepingfish, Gulf Coast, and elsewhere. He teaches at Eastern Washington University's Inland Northwest Center for Writers, in Spokane, Washington, and is the editor of WILLOW SPRINGS.